I Did this to Myself

I do not fear men,

their threats

or their promises.

There isn’t much 

that I wouldn’t be numb to.

I do not fear God,

should there be one.

Anything He could do

to hurt me

has already been done.

I do not fear death,

for if death means 

that I will feel nothing,

then the truth is,

I am already dead.

I fear one thing,

not myself as a whole,

not even my mind,

but my greatest enemy,

my own beating heart.

I fear making the mistake

of taking a chance, 

of believing in something,

or someone,

and being wrong.

I fear my own choices,

to fall in love,

to take down the barriers,

all to reach out

and be left drowning

drowning… 

in my own…regret…

I did this… to myself...