Beyond Redemption

I see him floating before me

An apparition of what once was.

A man I loved, no longer here with me

But still conscious of my presence.

It is not he who has invaded my world,

But I who invaded his.

Seeking redemption desperately,

I find him stuck in a timeless loop,

An endless circle of repeating

The same thing he always did

Rubbing his forefinger and his thumb

Against each other as he recounts

The memory of my voice

Screaming over and over at him.

He says nothing but stares past me

At the spirit within me

of who I once was

Before I realized my flaw. 

He can no longer see beyond 

My failure to love him.

He needs me to know

It was I who killed the man

who once lived within this shell 

That hovers before me.

He knows that I am here,

But shows me this instead,

Because he knows 

that what he suffered,

Is what I will relive 

over and over,

The moment I perish too.