Depressive Disorder

 I cannot feel you

Because I can’t feel anything.

You say you’re here in spirit,

But I only feel the emptying.

I keep falling down,

This dark rabbit hole. 

And this nothingness

Is taking it’s toll.

I’m breaking down,

And I can’t even stand,

On my own two feet,

Ruining everything planned.

I can’t get out of bed,

I can’t eat or drink,

I just sleep for hours

‘Cause I’m scared to wake and think.

Confined in my own head,

A prison I built myself,

Malnourished and dying, 

I no longer care about my health.

The lonely erodes me. 

In the pit of my abdomen.

It’s harder to breathe,

When the walls are caving in.

I am drowning in my own tears, 

That stain my cheeks,

Their salt fills my nostril’s

And the stench reeks.

I can smell the pain,

That boils under my skin,

And I smell the death,

That’s trying to win.

I am too far gone,

And there is no way back.

The grim reaper awaits,

From the will to live I lack.