I'm sorry
don't leave me
I want to be the girl,
you want me to be.
I'm sorry,
don't fight me,
I'm not as strong
as I used to be
I'm sorry,
I don't want you to see,
all of the thoughts,
locked inside of me.
I'm sorry,
my love's not free
you've got to stay,
to see the real me.
I'm sorry
but you wont be
given easy access
cause there's no key.
I'm sorry,
please just love me
but don't expect
to set me free.
Can you hear it?
The faint roll of the drum.
I feast off your fear,
Anticipating what’s to come.
Do you see it?
The moon has turned red.
All those demons you battled,
Are coming back from the dead.
First you’ll see the talons
That haven’t forgotten the taste of your pain.
And what of all your efforts?
Well, that’s just all been in vain.
Next comes the eyes,
Darkened from your blood,
The surface cracks as they come though,
Past the murky mud.
Can you feel their anger?
They don’t like when you wont play.
My minions won’t stop coming,
And this time they are here to stay.
Soon they will free their master
From the depths of your unknown.
I will rise from the shadows,
And reclaim my throne.
No one can save you now,
And there’s nothing to hide behind.
I was always to be your king,
And you were always to be mine.
PopPop, like a gun,
But it’s just the fireworks.
Trying hard not to run,
From all of these jerks.
Use my hands to cover my ears,
Close my eyes so I can’t see,
Try to drown the memory in tears,
But still remains that part of me.
12-year-old me begged and pleaded,
Crying to not make me go.
Devoid of all they needed,
the answer was always no.
So away I went,
To the depths of my dispair,
A place I was sent,
To people who didn’t care.
How vividly I remember,
The fireworks of that night,
And the pain that would recur,
When I chose to fight.
I remember his scream,
When I chose self defense,
His degrading words would seem,
To be his most minor offense.
I remember hiding in my room,
And being forced to apologize,
To a man I would assume,
Enjoyed little girl cries.
This man labeled a pervert,
To which there was no garuentee,
But for me I knew he could hurt,
The day he almost killed me.
This memory bubbles to the surface,
Every Fourth of July,
With every “pop” I “reminisce”,
As they sparkle in the sky.
Sour taste
Tense throat
Regurgitate
Till I float
Blurry in the eyes
Dizzy in the head
Images project
Ways to be dead
Choke on Him
Reach for Serenity
His talons
Don’t release me
Close my eyes
Pretend to be okay
Ignore the clouds rolling
On a sunny day
Loud is the thunder
Down comes the rain
Clutch my stomach
To cover the pain
Didn’t want to come
So I let Him in
Now He took over
I let Him win
It’s my fault
And I know it
Won’t kick Him out
This, my forfeit
I beg of you
Give me a chance
Redeem me
With only a second glance.
