Wednesday, May 4, 2022

Decay I

 “I just read Pet Sematary, and now the light is out. Great, now here he comes.”

I walked up the two flights of stairs to my apartment at one in the morning. I don’t really remember where I was coming from to be honest, but if I had to guess, it was probably Jordan’s house. The world outside was silent. The wind was patient and gentle. I was sure that, as every metal step clanked with my shoes, my neighbors would be cursing my name. 

“It’s just Destiny again”

“No the girl on the third floor, she’s always coming home late”

”I don’t know, probably out drinking as the other college kids do.” 

I don’t think they even know my name, what floor I live on, or who I am in general, but I can still see them in their beds, wishing to hex my existence. I picture these people behind those closed doors quite vividly.

The silence was deafening and my heart was pounding in anticipation of him. It was true that I preferred to be out when the world was most vulnerable in its slumber, but I didn’t like the Quiet. Most people fear being alone in the dark because they were, in fact, not alone. I’m afraid of being alone because I am truly alone…. And then I’m not. That’s when the voice would start, and that’s when my personality shifts. That’s when he’d start speaking to me. Walking up those stairs to see one of the lights out was the straw that broke the camel's back. As everything around me grew dark, I couldn’t hide him from myself anymore.

The pets came back to life in that book, but only as sacks of flesh. You’re a walking corpse, Destiny. You’re already dead as you walk in this darkness. Just like Gage. Just like Rachel. You’re dead. Dead, dead, dead. 

I’m not dead.” I said back.

Yes, you are. You’re dead and you’re mine. Mine. Dead. Mine. Dead. Mine. Dead. Mine.

“Well I’m sorry you feel that way, that’s your problem, not mine.” Who was I trying to convince of that? Me? Or him? I didn’t know. The keys jingled as I unhooked them from my pants, found my apartment’s key and pushed it into the lock.

Dead. Mine. Dead. Mine. Dead. Mine.

“Please not tonight. I’m too tired for this.” I dropped everything I was carrying in my living room and made my way to the bedroom where I let my body collapse on the mattress. Looking at the ceiling, I watched the replay of my neighbors shifting in their beds and complaining about me one last time. It wasn’t real, I know, but my mind couldn’t help it. I yawned, secretly hoping sleep could help me escape him, at least for the night.

Sleep. Close your eyes. I’ll be here. I’ll be watching you drift away, and when you think you’ve gotten away, I’ll pull you back. You can’t run from me. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.

“I know, I know.”

Sleep sleep sleep

your soul I get to keep

Sleep sleep sleep

your soul I get to keep

Please stop the eerie singing.”

Sleep sleep sleep

Some rest you will find,

But when you wake,

You will STILL. BE. MINE.

My consciousness slips away at the sound of his soft cackling.

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